Hey, did you guys catch last week’s episode of Kramer?
No? Well how about that Office spin-off, the one about Dwight? No?
Well did you at least catch that Shrek spin-off movie about Donkey?
Those things don’t exist, you say?
Those characters work best in short bursts of comic relief you say?
Putting those characters front and center in their own stories would mean stretching a one-note joke too thin, you say?
In order for a comedic sidekick to exist and thrive as a story’s protagonist, you’d have to change the rules of the world they inhabit into something dumbed-down and predictable, something nearly unrecognizable from the world previously established, you say?
Profits are not equivalent to quality, you say?
Brevity is the soul of wit, you say?
Okay, gotcha. Thanks for setting me straight.
By the way, Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and Cars 2 are in theatres now.