Armchair Mogul
The (backseat) driving force behind Hollywood. Way behind.

The Brief History of the Future: Part 1


Armchair Mogul Encyclopedia Entry #2317:

Reporting to you about the real world of the last 15 years can only be summed into words like “absolutely catastrophic,” …”apocalyptic,” “war torn,” “desolate” …and peppered in with the occasional “ time travel” and “deep space exploration.”

Granted, the writers here at Armchair Inc. only get their news from what they see in movies and on T.V. , (so much more has probably happened that we don’t know about) we strive to bring you the most historically accurate information.

The following is what we know to be absolute fact.

Observe.

The Brief History of the Future: Part 1 (1995 – 2010)

1995

·         After constructing the necessary machinery to travel through time, (including a holographic imaging chamber and a supercomputer with access to vast historical databases) Sam Beckett prematurely steps into the nuclear accelerator chamber and propels himself back though time. (Quantum Leap – 1989)

·         The Durango ’95 automobile is released and subsequently stolen for joyriding and ultraviolence by Alexander DeLarge and his droogs. (A Clockwork Orange – 1971)

1996

·         After 4 grueling years, the global conflict known as “The Eugenic Wars” (which involved human engineering to make race of ‘supermen’) finally comes to an end. (Star Trek – 1966)

1997

·         August 29th,1997: Skynet becomes self aware and 3 billion human lives are ended. The survivors of the nuclear fire call it Judgment Day. They live on only to face a new nightmare: the war against the machines. (Terminator – 1984)

·         After being destroyed, New York City has been walled up and made into America’s only Maximum Security Prison. Ex-soldier and legendary fugitive “Snake” Plissken is given 24 hours to find the President of the United States, who has been captured by inmates after Air Force One crashed on the island. (Escape from NY – 1981)

·         October 16th, 1997: The family of Dr. John Robinson, accompanied by an air force pilot and a robot, set out from an overpopulated Earth in a spaceship called the Jupiter 2 .Their mission is immediately sabotaged by Dr. Zachary Smith, who slips aboard their spaceship and reprograms the robot to destroy the ship and crew. Consequent damage leaves them lost in space. (Lost In Space – 1965)

1998

·         October 23rd: Britney Spears releases “Hit Me Baby One More Time.”

1999

·         September 13th 1999: Nuclear waste from Earth (stored on the Moon’s far side) explodes in a catastrophic accident, knocking the Moon out of orbit and sending it and the 311 inhabitants of Moonbase Alpha hurtling uncontrollably into space. (Space:1999 –  1977)

·         An alien battle-fortress crashes on an island in the Pacific. Over the next ten years, mankind repairs and refits this fortress, using the advanced “robo-technology” found aboard it to create fighter planes that can transform into giant robots. As soon as the repaired fortress is ready for launch, the aliens to whom it belongs finally discover its location. Thus begins a series of wars that will devastate the planet earth. (Robotech: The Macross Saga – 1985)

2000

·         After a national financial crisis, America is destroyed. The country’s fascist president has created a sadistic annual Transcontinental Death Race in which is scored by number of innocent pedestrians struck and killed. (Death Race 2000 – 1975)

·         August 23, 2000: An earthquake reaching 9.6 magnitude hits the city of Los Angeles, causing it to separate from the mainland by flooding the San Fernando Valley (now called the “San Fernando Sea”) and turning it into an island from Malibu to Anaheim. (Escape from LA – 1996)

2004

·         The Time Enforcement Commission (TEC) a corporation made to combat misuse of the new discovery of time travel, finds a new and formidable enemy.  (Time Cop – 1994)

2005

·         The NDR series robot (a Humanoid shaped metallic skinned robot with an expressionless face) is created to perform housekeeping and maintenance duties. They are equipped with various tools such as a holo-projector that can unfold from its head and project a three dimensional image. (Bicentennial Man 1999)

·         Unicron, a roaming artificial planet, devours robot planet Lithone. Though many inhabitants attempt to flee the planet in spaceships, only one escapes. (Transformers :The Movie – 1986)

2006

·         Bob Barker retires from The Price is Right.

2008

·         During construction on the London Underground, a huge hibernating dragon awakens, incinerating the construction workers with its fiery breath. The only survivor is 12-year-old, whose mother was the Crew Chief on the project. The dragon flees and finds mates, and the dragons multiply rapidly and destroy the planet with fire. (Reign of Fire – 2002)

2009

·         November 23rd: The super-wealthy achieve immortality by hiring “bonejackers,” (mercenaries equipped with time travel devices,) to snatch people from the past just prior to the moment of their deaths, for use as substitute bodies. (Freejack – 1992)

·         The last human child on Earth is born. (Children of Men – 2006)

·         Sep 13th: Kanye West interrupts Taylor Swift at the MTV Movie Awards.

2010

·         September 25th: The last murder to ever occur in Los Angeles occurs. (Demolition Man – 1993) 

 

 

Stay tuned to Armchairmogul.net, for History of the Future Part II.

Armchair Mogul Encyclopedia: Your one and only reliable source for accurate information.

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2 Responses to “The Brief History of the Future: Part 1”

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