Armchair Mogul
The (backseat) driving force behind Hollywood. Way behind.

Happy Father’s Day, Dads! You’re All Idiots!

I was in the car the other day and I heard a commercial on the radio where a child asks her Dad where gravy comes from. He goes on to tell this long story… something akin to “There’s a magical gravy river with waterfalls…” and so on and so forth. The kid says “Is that true Mom?” and the Mom says “Honey, don’t listen to your father, he’s an idiot.”

Fathers of the world, in case you didn’t know, you’re a complete bumbling idiot. I have no idea how you are able to breathe and walk at the same time.

Take a look at this commercial and tell me if you haven’t seen about 7,000 other ones just like it:

For some reason, Dad is doing something completely idiotic, and Mom comes in, rolls her eyes and fixes it.


Because according to modern TV… man is dumb, woman rules.

It’s the industry standard.

Man wants product, doesn’t understand stuff, …Wife pushes man out of way and gets it for him.

Wife asks husband for something, …Husband stupidly knocks over table with his own face and catches kitchen on fire, …wife rolls eyes and fixes it.

Even the KIDS are pushing Dad out of the way, have you seen the Plavix commercial where that teenager girl is schooling her Dad on a laptop about why he should be taking Plavix? Dad, you’re a moron, why would you NOT take Plavix, you imbecile!!

Why am I pointing this out? I’m not sure.

I guess because I noticed this serious trend occurring in the late 90’s where there was NO sitcom to be found where Dad wasn’t some tubby blue collar guy, falling all over himself, and his clearly “out of his league” wife, comes in and saves the day.

Now, it has leaked its way into T.V. and radio commercials. You idiot, mouth breathing, cromag! Can you stop drooling all over your football for just one second? Wife has work she has to do.

Is this the new, understood cultural paradigm shift?

“Oh, you big goof, why hijinx will you get into this week?”

Husbands are morons, wives are smart… hot, …and somehow find a way to cook dinner and have a heart of gold.

Fathers, I know it’s your day and all, but you’re a moron.

Modern Family, The Simpsons, Home Improvement, Everybody Loves Raymond, Family Guy, King of Queens, The Bernie Mac Show, Life According to Jim… Hot smart wife, idiot husband.

The Good Wife is a T.V. show who’s ENTIRE PREMISE is that her bastard husband cheated on her, and she’s cleaning up his mess.

Sure, over the years we had the All in the Familys, and Honeymooners, and Flintstones but they were the exception at the time. Now, if a husband can tie his shoes… THAT is the exception.

I’m not saying this trend is good or bad, as a matter of fact, I know a lot of you ladies are saying “Well, yeah, that’s real life.”

Is it though?

Or is it because men won’t fight back about this trend?

If the roles were reversed, would you feel differently? Just throwing it out there. What do you think Armchair Ladies? Is your man really an idiot? Let’s hear it.

I will say that every once in a while, there are some honorable exceptions: I think the relationship between husband and wife on Medium is great and well written. Parenthood is another up and comer.

What say you Armchair Mens and Wimmens? Guys, are you even smart enough to use a keyboard? Let’s hear from you! If not you can always get your wife to show you how to work the lightbox with the pretty internet pictures on it.
– Voodrew



19 Responses to “Happy Father’s Day, Dads! You’re All Idiots!”

  1. It’s sad cuz it’s true!

  2. I like how you managed to rate the women’s attractiveness in between rants – lol

  3. Had to be fair. Even though it’s a tongue in cheek rant, I wanted to keep my facts right or I’d lose the rest of my credibility.

  4. hay guuyz holywod tot me dat i am not good for nuthing but favvering chilluns and i cant not even do it good half the time my wife says ha ha! she says i iz such a compleat and udder faylure that she has to sleepz wif arms akimbo in case i do somefing stoopid in her dreems.

    In all seriousness, the men are portrayed as either infallible action heros or borderline retarded morons has bothered me for years. In fact, you cannot have a proper Father’s Day celebration because it’s like having an ironic mustache.

    “Well, Dad’s a bit of a mongoloid, but we sure do love him, don’t we, everybody? We sure do! Here you go, Dad! It’s a cordless screwdriver! Go pretend to fix something and for the love of Christ, don’t hurt yourself like you did last time!”

    Mother’s Day — We love you.
    Father’s Day — We love you, anyway.

    I don’t know if it’s an offshoot of the Women’s Liberation movement in the 70’s or what, but the deification of women and the vilification of men should not exist in an enlightened society. It should be about the equalization of people.

  5. Wow, totally agree. My husband and I have talked about this for a long time. It’s really sad and I would even go so far as to say affects the way society treats men…or maybe reflects it?

    I also think that from a man’s perspective, the women in these shows (King of Queens, Raymond, According to Jim, etc.) may seem “sharp as a tac,” but from a women’s perspective, they seem almost worse than the man. I can’t even stomach these shows. First of all, it’s sexist and annoying that these women can’t land roles in a sitcome without being super-models, because, hey, who’d want to watch an average-looking female whine and babysit her husband for 30 minutes, while the husband is judged solely on his sense of humor and inner character.

    Secondly, I have turned off Raymond or King of Queens (which I think is really funny sometimes) more than once because, Holy crap, I CANNOT listen to a woman nag her husband for 30 minutes! At some point, that also degrades women, portraying them as whiny, nagging, annoying, stressed-out, unhappy control-freaks…who are apparently VERY concerned with their looks, and less concerned with their relationship with their husbands. And, like you said, the men are portrayed as total morons or completely scared of their wives and hiding everything they do from them. It’s unbalanced and irritating. Not to mention that these people are supposed to represent a normal, balanced relationship. I mean, I can see the humor in some of it, but I just grow weary of every episode of every show revolving around portraying the marriage relationship in that dysfunctional way.

    The men in my life (my Dad and my husband) in no way resemble these me on tv and in commercials. They’re hard-working, kind, head-strong, smart, capable, and not at all afraid to tell me what I can do if I have a problem with that. 🙂 Happy Father’s Day to the real Dads and husbands of the world!

    PS-I’m loving Parenthood, and the ways they’re exploring the dynamics of different family situations without using stereotypes…it’s refreshing! I especially get a kick out of Joel and Julia’s relationship, with her being the working mom and him the stay-at-home Dad. I love her uncertainty and seeing her make mistakes. Good writing! 🙂

  6. I think the main reason for that is that women are not really allowed to be funny. Funny is oftentimes falling down, breaking things, looking stupid … all things men don’t want women to do. And men write these shows. A lot of them probably single nerds. So they write female characters the best way they can: looks of their favourite supermodel, personality of their mom.

  7. hmmm… maybe stop watching TV?

  8. I think writers are very smart in that they play to the weaknesses of both sexes. Men like the idea of a smart, “hot” wife. Women relate to the hard-working wife that has to do everything. Kids think they know everything and, like, totally agree that dad’s a moron.

    To wit, the commercial where the dad just can’t figure out how wireless internet works and the pre-teen daughter has to roll-her eyes and humor the old fart.

    Meanwhile, the family unit crumbles because all respect is lost for the man, who in many cases (not all, but many) is a solid, hard-working, reasonable man just trying to make it in this world.

  9. Here’s a link to a similar article if you’re interested:

  10. Just consider it payback for the years of male condescension and “Father” knows best.

  11. you are the most idiotic people husbands work there asses off all day and ya sometimes they can be a little mean but u should be thankful and i bet the person who wrote this is a no life loser who just wanted somthing to write so go get a life. just because tv has dumb dads doesnt mean all dads are and i mean serously when ever you make those photos theyre like o good descion making mom hot firecracker but all dads get are dumb people idiots bad descion. some moms have a easy work that makes alot of money but they barely work so just stop being complete idiots and apprecite your husbands. i bet all of you are divorceed people who completely ruined there own marriage and is mad at the husband because they were the ones who wanted to divorcee because you kept saying o why wont you spend time with me even though they spent all there free time or they always started fights over the samllest times. so go out and gte the fuck over it.

    • They don’t. My dad works 6:00 am to 6:30 pm. He only works until 11:00 am. He also says my mom is stupid and she works 9:00pm – 7:00am. She works a lot and she never leaves early. Only once when her friend was murdered by her ex and then he committed suicide. 😭

  12. part 2:hothumblepie i agree the woman are like o you make a mountain out of a mole hill even though the wife thinks his best friend is hot and he knew the person in like kindergarden. so thank you hothumblepie. my point proven

  13. Anonymous, thank you so much for you passionate reply. Myself (the dude who wrote the article) and the CEO of this site are two, ridiculously happy and head over heels husbands who love their wife and children more than anything. My wife and myself have been a couple for 19 of our 35 years on this planet, that’s why this trend in shows and commercials kind of stings so much.

    My intention with this article is to confront the issue at hand. We’re kind of tired of being protrayed as morons on T.V. ALL the time without question. Sure, there’s a lot of dopey guys out there, but man, this formula is out of hand.

    If you look back through the article, I wrote at the end..

    “If the roles were reversed, would you feel differently?

    I will say that every once in a while, there are some honorable exceptions: I think the relationship between husband and wife on Medium is great and well written. Parenthood is another up and comer.”

    I was celebrating the shows that got it right, where hubbos aren’t complete idiots and actually contribute something other than comic relief.

    The purpose of the article was to poke fun at how ridiculously formulaic everything has gotten in this area.

  14. Woops, I guess I wasn’t logged in ^^^. That reply is from me… Voodrew.

  15. Must see new Cheerios commercial. It actually portrays dad as as a smart, caring guy.

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