Armchair Mogul
The (backseat) driving force behind Hollywood. Way behind.

CAST THIS… “WONDER WOMAN”


 

I can think of a very few things hotter than Wonder Woman. There… I said it.

Now that that is out of the way, let me explain why. Sure, sure, you have the sexy outfit, but if that were sum of it, there are definitely a lot sexier ones to be seen. It goes beyond that.

Wonder Woman is a Goddess, literally, who felt the need to go beyond paradise to help those that were less fortunate.  She’s the kind of woman who could fly down, gently scoop up a baby in one hand, (punch a train out of the way with the other) and then deliver the baby back to the United Nations.  She’s compassionate, she’s nurturing, and …oh yeah, and she’s smokin’ hot as well.

Superman and Wonder Woman are the Greek Gods of our time, they are the campfire stories, they are the things that cavemen would paint on walls. There is something primal in the need to have them…but before I go into a historical triad, let me just say that in the “Reboot” culture we are living in, I think it’s actually a lot more important to get it right than Hollywood thinking it is.

The state of the world sucks people, let’s just admit it. We need a fantastical release. We need a straight up superhero, dare I say ‘savior’ to let our minds escape from unemployment, recession  and terrorist activity. We need a superhero story that doesn’t include some murderous dark and tragic backstory, or a superhero with alcohol problem or wasn’t hugged as a kid. We don’t need to know why Darth Vader turned bad. We need a straight up “Good Vs. Evil” story, and we need Good to triumph.

This SHOULD have been done in the Superman reboot, but they failed.

“You know what we need to do? We need to make Superman bail on the people he swore to protect  without an explanation …and maybe have a child out of wedlock or something…to make him more human.” – Person Who Makes Decisions for Movies

No… no you don’t.

Wonder Woman is pretty close to all we have to get this right people.

A Wonder Woman movie and a Justice League movie have been in production hell for years, and after hearing some of the directions they were taking her, I’m glad. Joss Whedon gave it a shot, which I thought would have been PERFECT, since he knows how to write a sexy badass on-screen, but disagreements with the studio lead to a scrapping.

Soon afterward, rumor had it that a Wonder Woman TV series reboot was in the works, but would that survive? (See: Bionic Woman Reboot, Dollhouse)

Who would even play her?

It leads me to thinking (as I often do) is it possible to cast Wonder Woman as well as Lynda Carter was in the old show? Who would that actress even be?

Wonder Woman is equal parts Goddess, Humanitarian, Activist, Politician, Warrior, and Babe. Who could embody that perfectly? Lynda Carter might not of have been PERFECT for the role, but is it even possible for Wonder Woman to live outside the page?

Well, let’s give it a shot…

Who we DON’T Want:

  1. Anyone under 21. It’s Wonder WOMAN! Not “Wonder Teen” or “Wonder Anyone That Could be on The Hills.” She is all woman. She has to be a diplomat, she has to command the respect of grown men, and she has to look good throwing a car at a bad guy. Any tiny teeny bopper isn’t going to do. They dropped the ball with this with Superman Returns. It’s SuperMAN, not “Super Metrosexual Young Upstart”
  2. An established star. Otherwise it’s going to be “Scarlett Johansen as Wonder Woman,” not “Hey look! There’s Wonder Woman!” Christopher Reeve had a career before Superman, but not a HUGE one. To this day he is STILL Superman.
  3. Any disgustingly overly muscled steroid Women Wrestlers Like Chyna or the like. She is a Goddess, you have to not be able to take your eyes off of her, not wonder what animal nads she is eating to beef up.
  4. Anyone who doesn’t fit the bill. Meaning don’t hire some skinny blonde chick, don’t hire Grace Jones, don’t hire Janeane Garafolo because you want to “Change people’s perception of what a Wonder Woman could be, ANYONE could be a Wonder Woman.” Just shut up and do it right.

 

What we DO want:

  1. A WOMAN that you want in every possible way, but you are also afraid to touch. (No Mary Elizabeth Winstead, No Anne Hathaway)
  2. Someone who can be taken seriously when they address the United Nations about some International Crisis. (No Megan Fox)
  3. When Terrorist have taken over a building, she has to fly in with skimpy underwear and EVERY SINGLE TERRORIST will poop their pants because they are about to get their asses kicked. (No Jennifer Love Hewitt, No Katie Holmes)
  4. She has to be compassionate and comfortable holding little starving children in Africa when she isn’t fighting crime because she is a HUGE humanitarian. (No Chyna.)
  5. She has to be in the same league as Superman. She has to stand next to Superman and have equal respect and awe. Not just arm candy that can be made to look strong through CG.

 

Some actresses have come and gone past the “Wonder Woman Window of Opportunity…”

So what say you folks? Who would make the best Wonder Woman, rather it be a TV Show or a Movie?

Or Is Lynda Carter possibly as good as it gets?

I refuse to leave this conference room until we have a solution folks…

–          Voodrew

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18 Responses to “CAST THIS… “WONDER WOMAN””

  1. Megan Fox… totally Megan Fox

  2. I would like to throw one name out there that MIGHT work. Although it was a complete butthole of a movie, the Clash of the Titans remake had Gemma Arterton done up in some nice Greek Goddess type garb. I can’t find any good pictures of it though. She’s also going to be in Prince of Persia. http://www.comicbookmovie.com/images/users/uploads/7601/Gemma%20Arterton%20in%20Prince%20of%20Persia.jpg She fits everything BUT the toughness part, I can’t see people being afraid of her.

  3. Megan Fox can F right off. She’s even said she has no interest in playing Wonder Woman. She doesn’t get the character. The actress from Clash of the Titans would be good. I think she’s also in Prince of Persia, this summer. There were rumors going around a while ago that Australian model and actress Megan Gale was to be cast. After seeing interviews with her I am all for that. She looked perfect and I think could’ve done a great job.

  4. I have the solution. First off, Vooge (yeah, new nickname, deal with it) bravo for effing saying it and shooting Hollywood straight.
    YTMND.

    Secondly, here’s yer GD Wonder Woman right here:

    GINA CARANO.

    She’s a mixed martial arts fighter, kickboxer champ, model and actress. I first saw her as “Crush” on the new American Gladiators and she’s as beautiful AND badass as they come.

    Now before you google-image her and say nay, lemme tell you, the still images of her do her NONE justice. You have to see her in motion. She’s got a beautiful smile and she’s a friggin badass in the MMA ring. Plus, she’s well-spoken, intelligent and just a damn good person. Hell, she’s practically Wonder Woman already.

    I mean…LOOK AT THIS WOMAN!!!

    Vooge, declare me the winner. Seriously. I’ve found your woman.

  5. Demi Moore was the first person that came to my mind, but I’m not thinking that’ll be a popular one. I was also thinking of Nicole Scherzinger, but that may just be because I love her and she’s super strong on Dancing with the Stars. I’m not sure if she even acts, though, so… What about Jennifer Connelly? I think she’s beautiful and could maybe fit the role?

  6. No one out there today that I know of can step into Lynda Carter’s boots.I think it will have to be an unknown, like Lynda herself was.(She was Miss Universe I think). She was born to play that part like Chris Reeve was born to play Superman…they were the epitome of those characters. Megan is too young and to much of a prima donna…Catherine Zeta Jones is too old and too petite,Chyna too masculine,and I don’t know what Beyonce was thinking trying to get that part.

  7. ADRIENNE PALACKI… Duh

  8. Jessica Biel! I am not sure why everyone has looked her over. But she has the body, the brawn, and the acting skills to do it. I could see no one else that could play Wonder Woman as well as she could fitting what Wonder Woman is and still being young enough to play the roll yet old enough to be taken serious!

  9. Yvonne Strahovski. She kicks ass, commands respect, has an amazing body that’s almost 6 foot, killer acting chops, and tons of fighting skill (she even does almost all of her stunts on Chuck). Dye her hair and bam! Wonder Woman.

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