Armchair Mogul
The (backseat) driving force behind Hollywood. Way behind.

The Lovely Pwn…


So I caught a sneak screening of The Lovely Bones last week and here’s the thing…

The marketing for this thing is SO misleading it should be a crime.  It’s like when the commercials and trailers for Inglourious Basterds would have you believe the movie is about a bunch of Nazi hunters trolling for scalps – nope, that’s just one scene.  Or when the trailer for Funny People wants you to think the movie’s about a dying comedian who suddenly gets a new lease on life, when in fact it’s really about a guy trollin’ for an ex who’s already married.  Yeah, not the movie they sold you, right?

I mean, it’s not as bad as when trailers for movies like Anapolis straight up SPLICE IN scenes from other movies to make the film seem more exciting.

 (those shots of the jets flying around and the carrier exploding – not in the movie – the movie’s about boxing…yeah, deal with THAT.)

But James Franco aside, there’s something to be said for delivering the movie we signed up for.  It’s a classic bait and switch –  and while it’s not as bad as when done by a car dealer, it’s still a major let down when those end credits roll and you realize you’ve been had.

That being said, The Lovely Bones has great visuals and a mostly solid cast, although the story doesn’t translate very well to film IMO.  I think movie goers will be dismayed by the fact that unlike what the trailers and commercials would have you believe, this dead girl is BY NO MEANS helping anyone solve her murder.  It doesn’t happen in the book and it doesn’t happen in the movie.  It’s actually about both her and the loved ones she leaves behind making peace with her passing.  The killer bits are an afterthought, just sorta thrown in to keep you interested.  And, spoiler alert, it doesn’t resolve itself in a very satisfying way.  At all.  In fact, neither the storyline of the killer nor the storyline of the grieving family have satisfying resolutions.  Both come completely out of left field and leave you feeling as if you missed something.

And yes, the whole thing is very bewildering to Marky Mark.

In otherwords, when this one moves on to the great hereafter, I doubt there will be very many mourners.

–DPoe

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One Response to “The Lovely Pwn…”

  1. LOLOLOLOL!!! You make me laugh! Oh, dear, sweet Mark Wahlberg…you are always so confused…it’s not that complicated, really. Monkeys run the planet, a planet being killed by an unseen virus from the trees, and your daughter’s lovely bones may never be found. Why can’t you stop with that face already??


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