Armchair Mogul
The (backseat) driving force behind Hollywood. Way behind.

Birds of a Feather…?

So Sony’s announced their plans to make “Spider-Man 4” – which I couldn’t be happier about.  I think “Spider-Man 3” was a gross and ridiculous misstep uncharacteristic of the talented people who made it and I think they learned from their mistakes – at least, I hope they did.

Alright, we get it. You’re dark. Please stop doing that.

But what I’m here to talk about are the villains.  In case you haven’t heard, the bad guy this go-round will be The Vulture – a classic baddie plucked right out of Spidey’s original rouges gallery.  Vulture’s whole deal is that he’s an older guy named Adrian Toomes who’s got a mean penchant for jewel theivin’ and who also happens to be in possession of a vulture-lookin’ suit that augments his strength and gives him the power of flight.

Aaand that’s it.

Does that say The Terrible Tinkerer?

But I also read that they’re introducing a new villainess called The Vultress into the fray.  This character, to my knowledge, doesn’t exist in the comics.  Back when I was submitting a lot of work to a lot of places, I wrote up a Spider-Man comic submission based on The Vulture (who had been largely absent from Spidey lore around this time).  To add some flavor to the Vulture mythos and the submission, I created a new character named “Avion” who was be the Vulture’s daughter.

Since I’ve never heard of The Vultress, I’m curious to see if the creators of “Spider-Man 4” came to the same conclusion I did and pulled a similar stunt with this new character.  For me personally, it would be a blast if they did.

And since we at the Armchair aren’t about keeping the fun to ourselves, I’m posting my Spidey submission for your reading pleasure/dismay/nonchalance.  That way, come May of 2011, we can all join in on the fun/heartache/nonchalance together.

(And bee tee dubs, fair’s fair…if there are any Moguls out there who feel I really dropped the ball with the story, feel free to rip it a new one.  After all, this whole site’s about knowing better and saying so.  ‘Course, if you like it, I won’t fight any constructive compliments either.)

Here it is.  (P.S. There are a few dated references in this bad boy you’ll have to excuse – trust me, they were relevant at the time, dammit)

In the meantime, “Spider-Man 4″…what story’s left to tell?  Sure there’ll be a knock-down, drag-out fight over the skyline of Manhattan, but what’s the meat? 

We’ve had an origin story, we’ve had a quitting story, we’ve had the dark hero story.  Most super hero franchises don’t survive past their third installments, so this is new ground here – unless you count the abysmal “Superman 4” in which case “Spider-Man 4” will be made with a fraction of the previous installments’ budget and feature Spidey fighting the living embodiment of our greatest global controversy…

…so Al Gore, I guess.


6 Responses to “Birds of a Feather…?”

  1. I liked Spiderman 3…I thought it was funny. I love the last scene at the church…thought there was some great symbolism there. I think you just didn’t like the goth thing he had going on…am I right?? 🙂

    • Al Gorrrrrreeeeee….too funny! 🙂 LOL!

    • There are some really nice moments (birth of Sand Man, the church scene, Spidey and Harry fight through the alleys) but overall, just waaaaaaay more goofnuts than I wanted from a supposed “dark” Spidey story. Also disco. Way more disco.

  2. i think spiderman 4 is doomed. but i didn’t even like the first one lol

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