As some of you know, The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepare a 2011 annual report for their blogs.
We at the Armchair thought it’d be fun to share last year’s stats with you guys. Enjoy!
(oh, and make sure you click the link at the bottom or this’ll be a real short trip)
Here’s an excerpt:
The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 77,000 times in 2011. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 3 days for that many people to see it.
It’s that time again…! Once again we roll credits on yet another year of Hollywood hits and misses where we, the moguls of media, get to sit back, relax and call the shots on the best and worst movies, TV shows, characters and pop culture moments 2011 had to offer.
And now, without further stalling for time, let’s hand out some awards!
Pop Culture
Who’s Laughing Now: Rebecca Black
Sure, we all had our laughs. But even after making over $1 million on her viral “hit” “Friday”, she signed a deal with Kohl’s to repurpose the song into a Black Friday ad. You’d think after all these years of watching teen movies, we’d know by now not to laugh at the awkward girl with big dreams.
On Minute 28 of Her Fifteen Minutes: Kim Kardashian
For someone who started her career as a professional party-goer’s BFF with nothing on her resume but a sex tape, Kim Kardashian has done pretty well for herself and her raven-haired clan. But really, how long can this go on? She broke her last contract after 72 days…
Most Money Made on a Psychotic Breakdown: Charlie Sheen
Also awarded a Chairy for the “Most catchphrases generated by a psychotic breakdown.”
The Most Popular Character in the World That Americans Have Never Heard Of: Tintin
The FayanubitYayonDeTeepundo Award: Sofia Vergara
(Don’t worry, we can’t understand it either)
Go Have a Cheeseburger, Already: (Tie) Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill
We don’t know why, but we just can’t accept this as a permanent thing. It’s like finding a penny standing on its side. Just a matter of time….
Best Laugh: Ricky Gervais
Worst Laugh: Ricky Gervais
Marketing
Worst Tagline: The Sitter “The world’s worse babysitter is about to meet his match.” Now, wait. Wouldn’t that be…ANYBODY?? What if the world’s worst tennis player was about to meet his match? How would that be a movie? Come on, people, don’t just go with your first idea…
Back to the Drawing Board: Wendy’s, Dominoes pizza
Is it us, or does the new “sorry we’ve been doing it wrong” approach feel very un-American?
Most Annoying Title: (tie) Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, Martha Marcy May Marlene Just…stop.
Least Ambitious Marketing Campaign: Rango
According to Rango’s ad campaign, this film might as well have been Johnny Depp’s voiceover demo reel.
Most On the Nose Movie Title: (Tie) Hobo With a Shotgun, Cowboys Vs. Aliens
Television
Best Character: Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation
An old world craftsman with a penchant for whiskey, breakfast foods, brunettes and privacy. We loved that he thinks of birthday parties as people celebrating having personal information about him. Our favorite quote: “On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.”
End of an Era: Michael Scott
We haven’t loved a TV character this much in a long time. And now he’s gone. It’ll take a big man to fill that void. That’s what she…*sniff*…that’s…sorry…it’s just too painful.
Student Surpasses the Master: Parks and Recreation
What The Office now lacks in heart and genuine laughs, Parks and Rec MORE than makes up for. We’ll take one ticket from Scranton to Pawnee, please. No, one way is fine.
Quit Hogging All the Awards: Mad Men
Quit Hogging All the Water Cooler Talk: Breaking Bad
Just Quit: Jersey Shore
Movies
Didn’t Realize He was in a Crappy Movie: Mark Strong, Green Lantern He acted his heart out but everyone else just let him down.
Jude Law Award: Ryan Gosling
Remember in 2004, when Jude Law was in I Heart Huckabees, Sky Captain, Alfie, Closer, The Aviator and A Series of Unfortunate Events? That was Ryan Gosling this year.
Movie You Don’t Want to Admit to Not Loving:Super 8
Movie You Were Disappointed You Couldn’t Make Fun of: Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Fantastic Four Award: Thor
This is the award we give to films with the lowest stakes. Remember how in the first Fantastic Four movie, there were ZERO consequences if Dr. Doom won? Well, at the end of Thor, if Loki won, the Frost Giants (you know, the bad guys) would’ve been destroyed and earth would go on unaffected. Soooo….yeah. None stakes there.
Best Looking Sonuvabitch Around: George Clooney
Seriously, did anything happen in The Descendants? All I remember was thinking “damn, that is one handsome man” for 115 minutes.
‘Alright … Enough…. Seriously… Pack It Up’ Award: Big Momma’s House: Like Father Like Son Really? REALLY?
Best Usage of the “Find and Replace” Feature in Final Draft: The Hangover: Part II
Best Movie Written at a 14 Year old Nerd’s Sleepover:Suckerpunch
Combo Breaker Award: Cars 2 We give this award to anyone whose latest film breaks an impressive winning streak. This year, sadly, it goes to Pixar’s uninspired sequel, Cars 2. Financially successful but creatively bankrupt.
That. Just. Happened.: Jack and Jill Because not matter what your mind wants to believe, yes, that just happened.
The “What is This I Don’t Even…” Award: Immortals
Because we don’t know what is happening when we see this “movie”.
The Highest Grossing Movie that NOBODY Saw: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Made by drones for drones.
Feel Good Movie of the Year:The Muppets
Manliest Usage of a Rainbow: The Rainbow Bridge in Thor
FINALLY, THANK YOU:Captain America Easily the best super hero movie of the year, and very possibly one of the best of all time. Finally, a movie that makes us feel like kids again, with effects SO seamless, you don’t care how they did it.
Trends
Most Overused Theme (Winner) – Animals:The Eagle, Rango, Hop, Born To Be Wild 3D, Rio, African Cats, The Beaver, Kung Fu Panda, Lion of Judah, Mr. Poppers Penguins, Zookeeper, Shark Night 3D, Lion King 3D, Dolphin Tale, Puss In Boots, Happy Feet Two, Alvin and Chipmunks:ChipWrecked, We Bought a Zoo, War Horse.
Most Overused Theme (Runner Up) – Aliens:I Am Number Four, Battle Los Angeles, Mars Needs Moms, Paul, Super 8, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Cowboys Vs. Aliens, Attack The Block, Apollo 18, The Darkest Hour.
Why We Hated Green in 2011:Green Hornet, Green Lantern
Why We Loved Green in 2011: Kermit, The Muppets
Comic Book Movie We Didn’t Know We Wanted, But Can’t Live Without: X-Men: First Class
Comic Book Movie We Thought We Wanted, But Can Totally Live Without:Green Lantern
Comic Book Movie That We Didn’t Want and Can Totally Live Without:Green Hornet
Invasion of the Things Pretending to be Real Movies:Darkest Hour, Chronicle, Joyful Noise, One for the Money, Immortals, We Bought a Zoo
Biggest Backlash Against Blurry Out of Context Paparazzi Shots (Winner):The Dark Knight Rises
Feels like this entire film has been documented by YouTube.
That’s it, Moguls!
It wasn’t the best year for entertainment, but then, what would we do if it was?
See you next year for the LAST CHAIRYS EVER!! (Assuming the Mayans knew what they were talking about)
Last week, this trailer was released into the wild.
Now, we at the Armchair LOVE us some G.I.Joe. And not in some kitschy, Hot Topic, douche-baggery, sort of way. No. We love G.I.Joe because we were there when it happened. We were there when Baroness invented Au De Cobra, a perfume that caused men to become slaves to he will. We were there when Cobra Commander replaced the hollowed out missiles atop Red Rocker Diners all over the world and aimed them at all the major American cities. We were even there when Duke took a snake to the heart to save his never-seen-before-or-since half brother Lt. Falcon.
Then came the movie. A movie that became such a commercial success that it spawned two sequels and grossed over two billion dollars. And that movie… was Transformers.
The G.I.Joe movie kinda sucked.
So that’s why we’re hopeful about Retaliation. Sure, the director is untested. Sure, it seems a bit campy and over the top. But, you did read the bit above about enchanted perfumes and live snakes used as spears, right? That craziness is in the very DNA of G.I.Joe.
See, there are TWO versions of G.I.Joe: the cartoon and the comics. The comics were more straight forward in terms of the tone and felt more like a Die Hard/Predator era John McTiernen movie. The cartoon was…well, see above.
The Rise of Cobra was closer to the cartoon but ignored, overlooked or overwrote some key points that Joe fans needed to stay intact in terms of aesthetics and mythology. But it looks like Retaliation – which we’re told by our sources on the set, Hasbro has a much stronger hand in - is addressing those errors.
So fire up your Seven Nation Army dub step and check out the TOP FIVE things that give us hope in the new G.I.Joe trailer:
5. The Plot (Dead Joes)
While we don’t know the finer details of the story, we do know this – the Joes have been betrayed by the government and are outlaws – Renegades, if you will. While this only happened once or twice in the 80′s cartoon, it was the very premise of the new Hub series and that worked pretty well. Plus, in movies, it always helps to have an underdog to root for. This storyline also comes with bonus features: Look, we won’t mince words here…we HATED the casting in the first flick. HATED IT. Except for Stormshadow, EVERYONE was horribly, horribly cast. This new flick remedies most of that problem by KILLING THEM ALL OFF in the first 10 minutes, leaving a small handful of bigger named, bigger talented Joes to fill their shoes. See number 4!
4. Roadblock
The Rock – no, we won’t call him by his Disney name – is PERFECT for G.I.Joe. And if you want him in the flick, Roadblock is a perfect fit for him. First off, Roadblock’s ACTUALLY a prominent character from the show. He’s not some background dude they played up and changed so a movie star could play him. Plus, he’s the same build, attitude and yes, skin tone, as The Rock. We say, NAILED.
3. Cobra Commander
We don’t throw the word ICONIC around lightly. So please understand the SHOCK we felt when Cobra Commander showed up on the silver screen looking like a glass squid was mating with his face when the original character sported not one, but TWO iconic looks! Thankfully, it looks like this one might get it right. Seriously. You’ve got a mirrored helmet and a dark hood to choose from and go with neither?! That’s like having Superman show up without his red trunks. Oh. Right.
2. Joe
In the G.I.Joe mythos, there actually WAS a guy named Joe waaay back in the day that the current team is named after. He was a tough-as-nails, veteran special ops soldier who was all about the job. Sort of a Bruce Willis type. Sooo, yeah. We’re cool with this one too.
1. SNAKE EYES HAS NO RUBBER MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Again…ICONIC. Hallelujah!
So what you, Moguls? Did they get it right this time? Are ninjas fighting on the side of a mountain just what Dr. Mindbender ordered? Is the director of the Justin Bieber movie gonna have a franchise on his hands? Hit us back. Yo Joe!
As we say goodbye to 2011, we must reflect and pay homage to the players in the entertainment industry that made our hearts go aflutter.
Of COURSE they are talented, of COURSE they are smart …and stuff… it’s a given, but they are definitely not hard on the eyes either.
The fine folks here at Armchair Mogul (and friends) took a vote, and we picked the ten celebs that made us watch just a little bit longer this year!
So sit back and feast your eyes on OUR picks, in our Second Annual Armchair Hottie Awards: Top Ten of 2011! GET IT ON!
Alison Brie (Community)
We would like to begin with the beautiful and talented Alison Brie. Community is a show that has made Armchair very happy with it’s off kilter and geeky humor …and there have been a few women on the show who have been gorgeous. BUT! We have to give the prize to Ms. Brie.
We are not the only people to notice her beautiful peepers (and eyes too), even the show’s Executive Producer Dan Harmon has been quoted as saying…
“I do try many times a season to put Alison [Brie] in a situation, wardrobe-wise, that I know is going to end up as an animated GIF file! I observe that stuff and the way people are consuming it, because I’m a nerd too and I love to obsess about my favorite TV shows.”
You mean like the one below?
We are making the same face.
Fun Fact: Did you know that Alison’s Mom is actually a teacher at a Community College?
Joe Manganiello (Alcide on True Blood)
He’s handsome, he’s rugged, and his body is not below room temperature like his other True Blood colleagues.
When we see Joe Manganiello, out first reaction is: “OH, COME ON! Seriously?! That’s not even fair.”
Our second reaction is “Why THE HELL did they not cast him in the new Superman movie?” He would have been PERFECT! According to the rumblings abound the internets, Manganiello was approached for the role as ol’ Supes, but his shooting schedule on True Blood conflicted. Well, crap.
Alright, seriously…knock it off.
Joe can definitely give Taylor Lautner a run for his money in the “sexy wolf department.” Ladies, does he win?
Fun Fact: Do you recognize Joe as Flash Thompson, Spider-man’s High School nemesis in Spider-man 1 and 3?
Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
Do we understand a word that she is saying? No. Does it matter?
To say ’no’ would be an insult to her talent. Sure, she is absolutely gorgeous, but she also has great comedic timing and is huge star overseas. This year, she has proven that men love the curvy and mature ladies instead of the skinny chic of yesteryear. It’s 2011 and “make mine Sofia.”
Fun Fact: Be sure to read this in her accent: “I’m a natural blonde. But when I started acting, I would go to auditions and they didn’t know where to put me because I was voluptuous and had the accent–but I had blonde hair. It was ignorance: they thought every Latin person looks like Salma Hayek.”
Michael Fassbender (X-Men: First Class, Shame, Dangerous Method)
Fassbender makes it on our list because… the guy has class.
Like ‘old school James Bond’ kinda class.
We cheered him on as the conflicted hero/villain in X-Men: First Class, especially when he was laying some hurtin’ on some Nazis. But he also made us understand (on deeper level) the conflict of being friend to Charles Xavier and knowing you have to do your own thing. Absolutely inspired casting, we must say.
The man also is involved in two other extremely sexy roles this year (Shame and Dangerous Method) that have caught quite a bit of attention.
With an upcoming role in Ridley Scott’s Prometheus, Fassbender seems like he is here to stay. And we are fine with it.
Not very many people can pull off “gun metal and yellow.”
Fun Fact: Quentin Tarantino once said of Fassbender: “You know the man eats, breathes, lives film. You could bring up the most obscure movie, like some (*&^%$) Swedish film from 1963 or whatever and he’ll know it. It’s quite staggering, actually, his encyclopedia of knowledge.”
Deborah Ann Woll (Jessica on True Blood)
She’s a redhead.
She’s sexy.
She’s a little psycho and might kill you on accident.
Sign us up.
Baby Vamp Jessica got some mixed reviews when she was first introduced in the True Blood family, but this year she really came into her own. She is now a stand alone… solid character of the franchise.
Deborah Ann Woll can be sexy, but also has a classic beauty all to herself. She recently posed sans makeup (and sans wardrobe) for Allure magazine.
Bill Compton and Eric Northman can have Sookie, we will take Jessica.
Fun Fact: Deborah is almost 5′ 11″!
Bradley Cooper (Hangover II, Limitless)
Sure, he is this year’s People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, but Armchair also loves him for his acting chops. The dude’s got skillz.
Limitless was one of the most underrated flicks of this year, and Cooper was the best part of the whole movie. He has played some filler roles in the past, but after his casting in the first Hangover, his career has kind of skyrocketed, and we’re happy about that.
Fun Fact: Cooper missed his college graduation ceremony because he was filming ‘Wet Hot American Summer.’ More people were at the graduation ceremony than saw that movie.
Joy Bryant (Parenthood)
NBC’s Parenthood has the Armchair collective quite smitten this year, but no one on the show has us quite as smitten as the stunningly beautiful Joy Bryant.
But before we go too far into why we love Joy… here is a picture of her entering the Call of Duty: Black Ops Video Game Launch Party wearing a Metallica …And Justice For All shirt.
Do we need to even keep typing?
Fun Fact: She’s got beauty and brains! Joy received a FULL academic scholarship to Yale University. Homina.
Chris Evans (Captain America)
Here’s what rules about Chris Evans:
With his earlier roles, he could have easily been pigeonholed into the “handsome young smartass,” but this year in Captain America, he made us believe that super heroes could actually exist.
Chris’ role as Steve Rogers was so sincerely done that we couldn’t help but be completely immersed into the world of Cap! It made us feel like a kid again! Plus, the ladies love a man in uniform, right? We can’t wait for The Avengers!
Fun Fact: Sure, he also played the Human Torch in the Fantastic 4, but we will forget those movies were ever made. Savvy?
Zooey Deschanel
Ahhh, Zooey.
Zooey, Zooey, Zooey.
Can a girl be simultaneously sexy and COMPLETELY nerdy at the same time? YES!
Zooey has been the object of affection to many a nerd and hipster over the last 5 or 10 years, but she she had proven her comedy chops in FOX’s new show The New Girl!
She has won over our geek hearts in such staples as Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Elf, The Simpsons, Almost Famous and Your Highness… and she shows no signs of slowing.
We may not be a HUGE fan of her singing (sorry Zooey) but we will always have a spot for those baby blues.
Fun Fact: Yes indeed, that IS her sister, Emily Deschanel on the hit TV show BONES!
Chris Hemsworth (Thor)
As word came though that a Thor movie was being made, a lot of us here at Armchair thought “How could they possibly make us care about Thor? He has a hammer and minces around on a rainbow bridge, so what?!”
But thanks to the brilliant ’Shakespearean’ directing of Kenneth Branagh and the ‘charming as hell’ main role filled by Hemsworth, we were totally sold.
We first noticed Hemsworth’s superb acting as Captain Kirk’s doomed Dad in the J.J. Abrams Star Trek reboot, and we’ve loved him ever since.
As we mentioned earlier, we can’t WAIT for The Avengers next summer – where rumors are abound that The Mighty Thor and Captain America just might come to fisticuffs in the film.
We’re there!!
Fun Fact: Chris’ younger brother Liam is playing the role of Gale in next summer’s The Hunger Games! Will he make it onto next years list? Stay tuned!
When we started Armchair Mogul back in October 2009, it was purely for the love of the game. We love movies. We love TV shows. We love being entertained.
But with that love, as with all love, comes…some constructive criticism. It’s long been our goal here in the armchair that we never complain about something unless we also know how to fix it. And so, over the last two years, we’ve offered up hundreds of solutions to some of Hollywood’s biggest ongoing problems. Never did we dream it would lead to such a lucrative money-making machine.
And with good reason.
Neverthless, we pressed on. We’ve commented on blockbusters, praised our favorite creators, cast upcoming movies, slammed overused gimmicks and even made some existential arguments about the state of the arts.
We’ve had some writers drop out. We’ve some step up. We’ve run polls, played pranks and even had a couple of production babies along the way!
We just wanted to thank all our subscribers for sticking with us, for speaking up and chiming in. It’s no fun barking into the void unless occasionally someone barks back. Besides, there’s always room in the armchair for one more, so tell a friend and let’s all complain together!
Remember, until Hollywood starts getting it right, we’ll be here. You hear that Green Lantern!? WE’LL. BE. HERE.
We leave you with some fun facts about our run thus far…
OUR BIGGEST POST: Say it. Say it. A rant about The Twilight Saga.
OUR MOST LINKED POST: Thanks for the Mammaries! A Thanksgiving post about Beverly DeAngelo’s nude scene in National Lampoon’s Vacation
Every year around this time, we Mogulfolk write up an article or two on who we are thankful for in the land of make believe. This year… I have to give it up for Jim Henson.
It would have been absolutely impossible for me to have the childhood I did without Jim Henson. From The Muppet Show, to Sesame Street… from consulting on the Yoda puppet in The Empire Strikes Back… to Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal…Jim Henson has made an incredibly huge mark on the childhood of almost everyone I know.
His irreverent humor with a heart of gold has been the model for which I’ve tried to build almost all of my creative pursuits.
Jim had some small gigs early on with the Ed Sullivan Show and the Jimmy Dean Show… but in 1969 when Joan Ganz Cooney and the team at Children’s Television workshop were putting together a little show called Sesame Street, they caught his full body puppet work on the popular LaChoy commercials.
The original idea was just to have a few short segments here and there with puppets, but due to the overwhelmingly positive feedback from kids, they decided to integrate the puppets in with the humans as well.
What came from that creative relationship is over 40 years of education with some of the most famous characters in history.
After the success of Sesame Street, Henson began to think that he was pigeonholed as just a ‘children’s entertainer.’ He sought to create a program that could be enjoyed by young and old. In the late 70′s he created the off kilter Muppet Show. Each one of the episodes also featured a human guest star. After the program became a HUGE hit, many celebrities were eager to perform with the Muppets on television and in film: by the end of its run over one hundred guest stars had appeared.
Over the years his production company has created some of the world’s most recognizable characters, such as Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Cookie Monster… and hundreds more… take a look at this video…
It is very easy to dismiss Henson as just being a “kids entertainer” but he also did some very dark movies as well, including The Dark Crystal in which he collaborated with Franz Oz and fantasy artist Brian Froud.
Let’s not forget the amazing collaboration with George Lucas and Labyrinth, starring David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly.
Here is probably the most important thing about Jim Henson;
The world NEEDS Jim Hensons.
We cannot possibly live on this COMPLETELY SCREWED UP planet without the idea that there are actually genuinely good…talented and sweet people on it. People that actually love the idea of being a kid.
We could spend the rest of the year talking about all of his accomplishments, but more importantly, the guy was total class act.
Quoting the book Sesame Street: A Celebration of 40 Years…
“Jim was tall, slightly stooped and always appeared relaxed and clam, nothing fazed him. And he never seemed to get angry. In meetings, if he didn’t like an idea, all he would do is sit back and say “Hmmmm,” in his quizzical tone. On TV and movie sets, visitors who knew how tense production could be were amazed that he never, ever, raised his voice. In fact, he was a lot like Kermit-except that Kermit occasionally got angry.”
He was a great family man, his daughter Cheryl was once quoted as saying
“He was always making things or doing art projects with us. He didn’t really bring the work home… it’s more like he brought the spirit of home back to work.
In May of 1990, he passed away of severe pneumonia, and his memorial was televised. Some of the most touching moments were Big Bird singing, and his friend Frank Oz, giving an incredible speech.
This video is so amazingly touching to me, because it’s a lot like hearing Fozzie talk about Kermit, or Bert talk about Ernie.
21 years after his passing, it has been a good year for Jim Henson, with the release of the new Muppet movie that is getting great reviews (Rotten Tomatoes positive critical meter for the film is currently rolling at 100%. Cinema Blend’s Josh Tyler has given The Muppets a whopping five star review), along with the announcement of a new NBC show, The New Nabors, described as; “a single-camera comedy project that centers on a family that lives in Palm Springs and is aghast with their new neighbors — a gang of puppets.”
Between Sesame Street, The Muppets, his hundreds of other amazing creations, and just being one of the biggest class acts that ever lived in Hollywood… Jim Henson we love you.
“When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in this world. My hope is to leave the world a little better for having been there. ”
― Jim Henson
God bless you, Jim. You did indeed, and today we give thanks.
- Voodrew
Just some of Jim Henson’s Legacy: The Muppets, Muppet Babies, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, The Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Dinosaur Train, Bear in the Big Blue House, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, and Where the Wild Things Are movie.
Sure, most movies generally have a “score” which will use music to accent the emotion and tone of the picture as it progresses. But… every once in a while… a movie will also use a bunch of music pulled from pop culture to do the same thing with even better results. When done correctly, a movie soundtrack can take the spirit of a group of pop songs and enhance the movie (and sometimes breathe new life into the songs themselves.)
We would like to take a moment to celebrate some of the most genius compilation soundtracks that have popped up in the ‘ol flickers shows in the last 20 years.
*ahem*
10. Singles (1992)
Two “Masters of the Soundtrack Genre” appear on this list, and the first one up is Cameron Crowe.
With a musical background, Crowe always seems to know EXACTLY what he wants the music to be in the picture. Stories have been thrown around of Cameron forgoing the “Director” mantle and just giving some of his actors mixed tapes with the songs that he was listening to when he wrote certain scenes.
The Singles movie and album had it’s pulse on the “Seattle Scene” in the early 90′s, and was not only a great movie, but (along with Reality Bites) was almost a documentary of where pulp culture was at the time. The movie also incorporated cameos from some of the artists on the soundtrack, including Alice In Chains playing in a club and Pearl Jam making up Matt Dillon’s faux band Citizen Dick.
Chris Cornell of Soundgarden saw a list of the Citizen Dick song’s titles which were completely made up to appear briefly in the film and then decided to pen songs to match each title. One of those songs, Seasons, appears on the film soundtrack. Another, Spoonman, was later recorded Soundgarden.
Singles is just one of those perfect marriages of cinema and music working seamlessly together.
Highlights: Alice In Chains – Would?, Nearly Lost You – Screaming Trees, Breathe – Pearl Jam, Drown – Smashing Pumpkins
9. Snatch (2000)
One of the incredible things about Guy Ritchie’s “gangster movies” is they almost appear timeless. They are shot and written in a way that appears to be the modern day, but the ancient, dirty, and gritty underworlds that backdrop the films make it hard to suss out when they are taking place.
Mirroring that process, Ritchie’s genius in song choices meld together contemporary “techno rock” right along side classic acts like James Brown and The Specials.
The tone of his movies are ‘dirty and gritty,’ and the use of the ‘dirty and gritty’ music along with the visuals blend perfectly.
The opening song to the movie Snatch has tones and sound effects that drive a beat that almost mirrors your heart rate as the song escalates…
Highlights: Overseer – Supermoves, The Stranglers – Golden Brown, The Specials – Ghost Town, Mirwais – Disco Science, Massive Attack – Angel, Piano Smith and The Clowns – Don’t You Just Know It
8. The Matrix (1999)
In true “perfect soundtrack” fashion, certain parts of this film would have been nowhere near as good without the Wachowski’s specific song choices. The Matrix had an incredible blend of old school movie score wrapping seamlessly into the harder modern techno music of the time.
How do you mix the story of technology and violence wrapped up in the style of rock n’ roll? You pick selections from the sub-genre of Techno/Metal like Prodigy, Rammstien, Rob Zombie, and Marylin Manson that was thriving around the turn of the century.
The movie’s scenes are married so beautifully with the visuals they are almost inseparable. Imagine the ‘lobby scene’ without The Propellerheads – Spybreak pounding in the background (jump about 1:00 in)
or The Matrix “Explanation” scene without Rob D’s Clubbed to Death?
The Matrix is one of the defining moments of pop-culture at the time, and the soundtrack is one of the defining moments of the film.
Highlights: Spybreak – The Propellerheads, Clubbed to Death – Rob D, Wake Up – Rage Against The Machine, Leave You Far Behind – Lunatic Calm
7. Across The Universe (2007)
How do you expand upon The Beatles music catalog? Most people would say “You don’t, leave it alone!” However…
Predating the “Glee” model of using pop songs to move a story, Across the Universe is an amalgam of beautiful imagery, incredible music and historical fiction.
Across The Universe uses The Beatles music as the perfect narrative of the chaos of the 60′s. The movie goes from the sugar-coated early 60s to the completely drug addled and political late 60′s.
For example: ATU uses songs like Happiness is a Warm Gun to show the struggle of drug addicted and wounded Vietnam vets as the try to acclimate back into life here in the States.
The movie even takes some of the lesser known Beatles songs like I’ve Just Seen a Face and gives a fresh perspective, breathing new life into the song itself, thus making its way onto our list!
Highlights: Girl, Happiness is a Warm Gun, I’ve Just Seen a Face, Helter Skelter
6. Almost Famous (2000)
One of the perfect definitions of a Soundtrack breathing new life into a song…
I’m not sure many people of our generation knew the first thing about Elton John’s Tiny Dancer before this movie.
This is the second soundtrack on this list from our buddy Cameron Crowe, from the movie Almost Famous (loosely based on his time on the road with bands in the 70′s.)
According to IMDB… “The film is director Cameron Crowe’s semi-autobiographical account of life as a young Rolling Stone reporter. The actual group that Crowe first toured with was The Allman Brothers (Gregg Allman was the one who distrusted him and kept asking if he was a narc.) Crowe’s real-life near-fatal plane crash happened while traveling with The Who. The character of Russell Hammond is based on Glenn Fry from the Eagles.”
This compilation takes songs from that time and gives us new memories to associate with them.
Highlights: Tiny Dancer – Elton John, Simple Man – Lynyrd Skynyrd, That’s The Way – Led Zeppelin
5. Grosse Pointe Blank (1997)
What gives Grosse Pointe Blank it’s charm is the the plot revolves around a hitman coming back to his small town 1986 High School reunion. This gives the viewer a bit of nostalgia, along with a little bit of that 90′s darkness… thus opening us up for tracks by The Violent Femmes and English Beat.
Even though the score of the movie deserves some pop music props (composed by The Clash’s Joe Strummer) the compilation album is the perfect mix of late 80′s music for those that weren’t listening to Whitney Huston.
Highlights: Violent Femmes – Blister in the Sun, The Clash – Rudie Can’t Fail, English Beat – Mirror In the Bathroom, Queen & David Bowie – Under Pressure
4. Garden State (2004)
One of the greatest things about Zach Braff’s incredible writing/directorial debut Garden State was the eclectic soundtrack. Each individual song was hand picked by Braff … Quote: “Essentially, I made a mix CD with all of the music that I felt was scoring my life at the time I was writing the screenplay.” It was a labor of love, and proved to be difficult to get all the songs due to the small budget of the film, but he felt so strongly about the music that he sent a mix CD of the music along to each studio with the screenplay when shopping it around.
Braff went on to win a Grammy award for Best Compilation Soundtrack for his work with it.
Songs like Zero 7′s In the Waiting Line seemed to be almost written for particular scenes in the movie. Frou Frou’s Let Go features lyrics that seem to be almost plucked directly from the screenplay itself. “Let go, jump in, what are you waiting for? It’s alright because there is beauty in the breakdown.”
Highlights: Let go – Frou Frou, Don’t Panic – Coldplay, In The Waiting Line – Zero 7, One of These First – Nick Drake
3. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
The story of the soundtrack to The Coen Brother’s O Brother Where Art Thou? almost defies logic.
This ol’ timey mix of bluegrass, country, blues and folk music from the Great Depression went on to win 3 Grammys, including the 2001 Album of the Year, it has been certified eight times platinum, was included in the CMT’s 40 Greatest Albums in Country Music and NPR has included it as one of “The Decade’s Most Important Recordings.”
How music from that era fit so perfectly into modern pop culture is almost unexplainable, but it is 100% true. It was the perfect mix of period music with the off kilter narrative of the Coen Brothers that took you directly to that time and kept you there for well after you left the theatre. It was a masterpiece of compilation, and deserves every award it gets.
Highlights: Dan Tyminski – Man of Constant Sorrow, Alison Krauss – Down to the River to Pray , Emmylou Harris, Alison Krauss, Gillian Welch – Didn’t Leave Nobody But The Baby, Fairfield Four – Lonesome Valley
Old timey, darn tootin’ hillbillies from the Great Depression cuttin’a rug! All the trappings of an 8 times platinum pop album!
2. The Crow (1994)
One of the quintessential soundtracks of the 90’s, The Crow brought us one of the last ‘modern’ compilations that wasn’t just another thrown together mess hoping to “highlight the record companies investments.”
Not only do the songs fit the tone of the movie to perfectly, a lot of the songs were written and or/preformed by bands that directly influenced the comic book’s creator J. O’Barr.
O’Barr included lyrics by The Cure and Joy Division in the original comic. Some bands even returned the favor by writing in words from the book.
“Don’t look! Don’t look!” the shadows breathe. Whispering me away from you.”
– Track 1. “Burn” – The Cure
The movie seamlessly incorporated some of the actual bands (My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult and Medicine) performing the songs in a club scene during the movie, without compromising the tone of the film by using the more popular acts such as Nine Inch Nails or Stone Temple Pilots. The Crow’s soundtrack stands as a testament to what a soundtrack should be …inspired by, … incorporated in …and enhanced because of.
Highlights: Burn – The Cure, Dead Souls – NIN, The Big Empty – STP, Golgotha Tenement Blues – Machines of Loving Grace, After the Flesh – My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
Very rarely does a movie come along that transforms ALL other memories of songs that have existed for decades.
‘Movie Soundtrack Master Number 1′ Quentin Tarantino excels at making the viewer think that he somehow commissioned the musicians 20 years earlier to write a song for his movie. Most times, songs like Miserlou, Jungle Boogie, Flowers on the Wall, or Let’s Stay Together can’t be heard without the need to quote Pulp Fiction over-top of them.
Just as he had destroyed the memory of the sugary pop Stuck in the Middle With You for most of us in the early 90′s with Reservoir Dogs, he COMPLETELY ruined all hope of The Revel’s Comanche being associated with anything but a certain gimp and a basement.
“Oh God, that song again… I’m not going back down there.”
Tarantino is one of the undisputed masters of the movie soundtrack, and for this, we give him the number one spot. Cheers QT, thanks for pleasuring on more of our senses than you had to!
Highlights: The entire frickin’ thing.
Here’s an added bonus just because…
Honorable Mention: Forrest Gump (1994)
Some of you might be saying “WHAT? Why is this not Number 1? Forrest Gump is the greatest soundtrack of all time!
First of all, put the axe handle down, we love it too. Now, with that said, aside from being just an amazing compilation of old songs to play at a party, does this soundtrack bring anything new and fresh to the songs that hadn’t been there before? Forrest Gump’s musical soundtrack is used more like a “Okay, we’re in the 60′s now… now we’re in the 70′s” type of narrative that enhances the scenes, but it doesn’t bring any new perspective to the songs that say a Pulp Fiction or an Almost Famous did. We love it enough to give it an honorable mention though.
What do you think Moguls? Did we nail it …or are we complete morons? What soundtracks would you have included or excluded?
Transformers: Dark of the Moon came out on Blu Ray and DVD yesterday and since I still had a few things to say about it, I figured now is as good a time as any.
Unfortunatley for Dark of the Moon, Transformers has gained a bit of a reputation for being the franchise that makes more money than sense. But one of the reasons I like it so much is that the flick offers up a whole lot of fan service (not THAT kind) for old school Trans Fans like myself.
So in honor of the old days when Soundwave was a tape player and Optimus Prime didn’t rip Decepticons’ faces off, we figured we’d run down the top ten ways DOTM did right by fans hopelessly devoted to the first generation (G1) of robots in disguise.
1. Dylan Gould
Humans in league with the Decepticons is in keeping with some of the greatest traditions set forth by the G1 cartoon. In fact, Megatron even kept one on staff. And while Dr. Arkeville actually was a doctor and Derek Gould only plays one on TV, McDreamy’s still in good company.
2. Shockwave
One of the few Bayformers that didn’t get lost in translation, Shockwave is actually RECOGNIZABLE to anyone even vaguely familiar with his G1 counterpart. One eye? Check. One arm-as-gun? Check? Immensely powerful character who has no problem bowing to the whims of his superiors? As you command!
3. The Matrix of Leadership
Yes, this was present in “Fallen” as well, but this time it’s used and presented in keeping with its original design – a thingy that sits in the chest of Autobot leaders for no apparent reason. Perfect!
4. Ironhide’s demise
This was pretty painful to watch as Ironhide was one of the few Autbots to retain any kind of personality throughout the live action trilogy. BUT, anyone familiar with the G1 series knows that the orginal Ironhide met his end at the hands of Megatron in the 1984 animated film. So the tradition lives on – even if he doesn’t. He’s God’s weapons expert now. Oh, spoiler, I guess.
5. Soundwave and Laserbeak
One of the great tragedies of the Transformers film franchise is that it was never able to quite capture the magic of Soundwave. Not since Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbor had a character with so little personality been so captivating to watch. But even so, it was a great nostalgic throwback to see Soundwave walking about with his faithful bird-bot perched on his arm. Now if only he could’ve ejected him from something…
6. Autobots’ exile
Even though the Autobots were great allies to the humans in the original toon, there comes a time in every relationship where you get suckered by bad guys and are forced to exile your robo-pals into the cold vacuum of space. Of course in the cartoon it was Optimus Prime’s sense of honor that compelled him to leave his human friends behind. In the film it was Optimus Prime teaching the ungrateful humans a sadistic lesson that cost thousands of lives. Tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to.
7. The Ark
Any fan of the 80′s show knows that the Autobots arrived on earth via a huge intergalactic spacecraft called The Ark. After crash landing on earth, the Ark was embedded at the base of a dormant volcano and became the Autobots’ home as well as the setting for many of their adventures. It was cool to see homage paid to that ship in a way that didn’t completely contradict the spirit of the original (see Autobots’ exile).
8. Carly
As a fan of film continuity, I was disheartened to hear that Megan Fox wouldn’t be around for the third chapter of the series – BUT – in a truly inspired move, the screenwriters swapped out her character Mikaela, who didn’t exist in G1 continuity, for Carly – who not only existed in the original series as Witwicky’s main squeeze, but who went on to become his wife and the mother of his son Daniel. And while the animated Carly was a computer genius and not a Victoria’s Secret model, I like to think she could’ve pulled it off.
9. Optimus Prime’s trailer
One word – YAY!!!!!!!!
10. Leonard Nimoy
And finally…this. Transformers:The Movie, the 1984 animated film is the crown jewel in the G1 gallery of awesome. And at the center of this vortex of cool, was some truly inspired voice casting. This included, among notable others such as the great Orson Welles in his final performance, Leonard Nimoy as Galvatron – which was basically Megatron 2.0 – a Decepticon so powerful he was able to destroy Starscream with one blast. So it was AWESOME to have Leonard Nimoy return to the franchise and lend his voice to Sentinel Prime. Anything else would have been bad comedy. If you don’t get that reference, you have no business reading this. Also, you may in fact have a life.
Upon inspection, we have found that MOST of our recent articles have been about comic book movies and opinions thereof.
Since Armchair Mogul was recently voted as “Most Important Website of Our Time,” (Thanks Mom) we figured we would just decide once and for all who “got it right.”
Lets settle this once and for all… in our very first “Who Played the Best…” (Live Action/Non-Animated) Batman Edition.
BATMAN
THE JOKER
CATWOMAN
Bruce Wayne
One actor might have ROCKED as Batman, but is not so much Bruce. Who’s the best?
TV Renewals & Rejections: Ryan Murphy on board for new season -- "The Glee Project" is officially getting a second verse, and Ryan Murphy will be on board for it. Though the reality series had begun casting for season two back in September, only now is the show finally getting the network-approved greenlight.
TV Renewals & Rejections: Animal Planet sets fifth season for series -- Animal Planet's "Whale Wars" has been renewed for a fifth season after months of back-and-forth over whether the show's protags, a militant animal-rights group called the Sea Shepherds, would be able to find any whalers to chase away after apparently scaring away […]
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