Armchair Mogul
The (backseat) driving force behind Hollywood. Way behind.

Jan
02

Greetings Moguls!

In case you didn’t hear, The Armchair has moved to its NEW SITE!

You can still reach us at our old address but we prefer you use the brand new one:

http://thearmchairmogul.com/

It’s a little flashier, a little cozier, and there’s a lot more room for content, pics, puns, and all the general nonsense you’ve come to expect from the comfiest seat in the house!

So pop on over and check out the new place. Hang up your hat. Pour yourself a drink. And always…

Sit back, relax and call the shots!

–AM

Armchair Mogul

Sep
19

Howdy Moguls! This is a new column we’re trying out where we attempt to piece together the story of a movie based solely on its poster and a few character names. We call it:

AoS_title_SW

We figured we’d kick off the column with Tom Jung’s classic 1977 Star Wars piece…here it is in all its glory.

Enjoy!

***

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far way…there was an evil space tyrant named Darth Vader who used his enormous helmet-shaped starship to spy on everyone in the galaxy.

Tired of being creeped out by the dark voyeur in their most private moments, most of the galaxy’s inhabitants fled their homes by leaping into their dragonfly-shaped spaceships, which, for some reason, they flew in reverse.

SW_01

The convoy of involuntary exhibitionists flew their reverse dragonflies to take sanctuary in the one place they knew would be safe from the prying eyes of Lord Vader – a humongous space station rumored to be the home of a 24/7 dance party – hence its resemblance to a galactic disco ball.

But it turns out that this disco space ball was a trap set by none other than Vader, who had installed a giant peep-hole in the disco ball to spy on the unwitting galactic citizens with even GREATER ease!

SW_02

Only one man had the power to save them – a young martial artist and part time body builder named Luke Skywalker! Skywalker, with the help of his lover, a buxom, ray gun wielding hotsy-totsy named Princess Leia, would use the power of his handheld flashlight beacon to lure the fleeing convoy to safe harbor on a nearby planet where the mountainous terrain would shield them from the Vader’s voyeuristic machinations.

SW_03

Here on this new planet, under the protection of the perpetually surprised C-3PO and his butler R2-D2, the citizens would have to face the choice of living a life of confined freedom, or join Luke and Leia in a rebellion against Darth Vader to end his spying once and for all.

SW_04

To aid in their fight, Luke invites the citizens to learn a mystic art that would not only guide them through their journeys, but prove to be a powerful ally in their battle against Vader. The citizens agree. So they all put on Luke’s trademark white gi and learn the ways of…KARATE.

The following battle would be the first of many in the intergalactic conflict that would come to be known as the…

SW_05

FADE OUT

…okay, NOW look at the poster and judge how accurately it tells that story.

***

Any ideas what poster should be next?

Let us know!

Sep
13

NewArmchairMogulTitle
Looks like you reached our old site! Click here to read this very article on our new and improved site, featuring up to date articles and our new ArmchairMogul Podcast!

Some of us here at ArmchairMogul have recently become quite smitten with the 80’s geekgasm novel Ready Player One by Ernest Cline and it’s got us thinking about who we would like to see play parts in the inevitable Hollywood movie.

Ready Player One is set in 2044 after the Great Recession has taken its toll on the world’s economy, and resources are scarce. The Internet has evolved into a creation known as OASIS (Ontologically Anthropocentric Sensory Immersive Simulation) a virtual reality massively multiplayer online simulation game created by a guy named James Halliday and his friend Ogden Morrow. Halliday, with no heirs or other living family, dies suddenly and leaves a will to those in the OASIS saying that whoever can collect three keys (Copper, Jade, and Crystal) that are hidden throughout the universe of OASIS and pass through the matching gates will receive his fortune and complete control of the OASIS. This becomes known as the Hunt and people immediately begin the search for Halliday’s Easter Egg. People start devoting an enormous amount of time to studying 1980s pop culture, the decade Halliday grew up in and was perpetually obsessed with, in the hope it will assist them with locating and solving the puzzles involved with the egg.

The story follows the adventures of Wade Watts and his hunt for the egg.

Well, guess what people… we’re going to cast this story before Hollywood has a chance to screw it up! We give you …ArmchairMogul Casts:

RP1_ReadyPlayerOnePaperbackCover

Wade Owen Watts – Clark Duke

Ok, here’s the inherent problem with a book/movie like this. We have two completely different directions we could go with the casting. If we wanted to be fairly realistic, Wade would look different than his avatar Parzival.

He describes himself in the book as being slightly overweight and a nerd, (which will be difficult to make him look like a badass warrior later on if they cast a straight up nerd for both roles) whereas his avatar is more handsome.  I don’t know if Hollywood will end up doing this or just go with a handsome kid and try to make him look “nerdier” outside the OASIS.

If we go with the straight up nerd for Wade, then we are going with Clark Duke in that spot…

RP1_WadeWatts02

He is slightly older than the typical high school student …but wasn’t Ralph Macchio like 48 years old when he did the first Karate Kid?

CLARK DUKE

Parzival – Logan Lerman

Ok, with the above explanation taken care of, if we want to cast Wade and Parzival with two different actors, or if we just want a handsome kid for both roles, then we think that Logan Lerman has the acting chops, the looks, and the soul needed for Parzival’s role.

RP1_Parzival1

Not sure if Lerman is up for another “Summer Blockbuster Tent Pole” based on a novel, but throw some money at the kid, see if he wants it.

RP1_Parzival2

Art3mis – Mae Whitman

There is only one person that would be absolutely perfect for the role of Art3mis and that would be Mae Whitman. She has the looks and the attitude described perfectly in the book. She HAS to be cast in this movie or we will riot.

RP1_Art3misA

She’s got the geek cred as well, playing April O’Neil in the new TMNT cartoon as well as work on Everquest, Kingdom Hearts, Scott Pilgrim, Robot Chicken, Family Guy, Avatar, Tinkerbell, you name it. Make ours Mae!

RP1_Art3misB

 Aech – Josh Hutcherson

Parzival’s best friend Aech, with the dashing smile and charming personality seems to be a great role for Josh Hutcherson. He seems like he would fit the part well.

RP1_AechA

Not sure if Hutcherson is up for another “Summer Blockbuster Tent Pole” based on a novel, but throw even more money at the kid, see if he wants it.

RP1_AechB

Nolan Sorrento – Kevin Spacey

IOI’s Nolan Sorrento has to be played by someone who is a consummate business man. Someone who can make you feel warm and welcome …and then turn on a dime and kill everyone you care about. Kevin Spacey fits this role perfectly.

RP1_NolanSorrento

I would love to see Kevin Spacey angrily piloting MechaGodzilla against a sea of gunters. If that makes no sense to you, then go read the book!

RP1_NolanSorrentoA

That other character that people who have read the book all the way through will get – Amber P. Riley

A very important character comes in toward the end of the book. Everyone who has read it will know who I’m talking about, so here you go. :) Amber P. Riley.

RP1_OtherCharacterA

Get her in a faded concert shirt and some combat boots, and she’s perfect.

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In closing, here’s one more picture of Mae Whitman to show how perfect she would be. Don’t argue with us.

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What do you think, Moguls? Are we on the right track? Who do you see for Halliday or Daito and Shoto? How about Ogden Morrow or IROC? Stay tuned for part 2 to see if we agree!

Aug
23

The internet is abuzz today about the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman in the upcoming Batman Vs. Superman movie.

Armchairmogul.net has exclusively obtained a leaked publicity photo of Ben Affleck in costume. This might be an earlier version of the costume, and may see some iterations before the big screen debut. But we like what we are seeing!

ArrmchairMogul_Affleck_Exclusive

What do you think about the casting Moguls? Sound off!

May
21

Did the geek world become a lot brighter over the last few years? Are modern cameras not built to handle this much light?

Observe the posters for the upcoming Star Trek …urm, Man of Steel.

SupesA

Ok, ok, I get it. It’s a neat effect and one poster does not a trend make.

SupesB

Wait a minute…

SupesC

Excuse me Mr. Zod, if we could just get you to move a little over to the left we’d get rid of this lens flare we are… no? Ok.

SupesDSupesE

Well, all joking aside, Armchair Mogul has secured exclusive rights to be the first to show you the BRAND NEW poster for Man of Steel! You’ve seen it here first, folks!

SupesF

We can only hope that the 3D IMAX glasses come with blue blockers.

May
20

All this talk about NuTrek got me thinking about old Trek and sci-fi in general – which, to be honest, I’m usually on the brink of doing at any given moment anyway, so…win-win.

Sci-fi has always been at its heart, a series of spiffed-up morality tales; an effort to explore and answer life’s BIG QUESTIONS: What is the nature of man? How far have we come? How far can we yet go? And in spite of our vast advances in technology, what part of ourselves remains thoroughly unevolved?

It makes perfect sense then, that sci-fi would be the genre that most accurately exposes the truth of “us.” Think about it – Man invents new technologies to (dis)solve life’s innate challenges. With those challenges met, what he does with the spare time he’s created and how he treats his fellow man when he no longer needs him, speaks volumes about his true nature.

So yeah, sci-fi’s a little rad.

Also telling of our nature is what we, as an audience, desire from our sci-fi.

Star Trek of old – I’m talking in the Shatner days – was all about exploring the evils of society through futuristic parables. Racism, fascism, greed, slavery…it was all touched upon in one way or another, albeit veiled (sometimes very, very thinly) in layers of prosthetics and polyester.

racism
This episode was about racism. Too subtle?

Even more intent on exploring the ethical and moral dilemmas of our time was Cpt. Picard’s crew from The Next Generation. In fact, TNG’s main appeal for a while was just watching Picard show off that big moral center of his. Like a peacock, he’d just strut around with it, exposing it right in front of everyone. The hussy.

For many years, this has been Trekkies’ secret weapon in the age-old battle of Wars vs. Trek, especially by the time the prequels rolled around. Whereas Star Trek was still about the failings, triumphs and potential of the human spirit, Star Wars had become about space ninjas.

But now we’ve entered an era where the two seem to be much more alike than ever before. Wrath of Khan, for instance, was about the fear of growing old and outliving one’s own relevance. Star Trek: Into Darkness, according to its ad campaign, appears to be about exploring one’s innate fear of piloting a spaceship through cramped spaces.

willfit
“WILLFITWILLFITWILLFIT!!!!”

But the fact remains that TNG isn’t as popular as it once was, nor does it seem that its principled, moral debates hold much appeal to the iPod generation. But, hey, there’s a girl in her bra and panties in the NuTrek trailers, bro! Just like on the Internet!

boldy go
A Google image search for “Star Trek 2013” will yield this. Too subtle?

I recently watched an episode of TNG called “The Measure of a Man” where a Starfleet scientist has arranged to disassemble Lt. Data against his will. This led to Picard acting as Data’s defense in a trial to ascertain whether Data was a sentient being or simply Starfleet property.

An aspect of the episode I forgot, however, was that Cmdr. Riker was forced to argue against Picard and attempt to prove that Data was indeed no more than a machine. It occurred to me that this was TNG’s version of that famous duel between Kirk and Spock in “Amok Time.”

So in 1967, when you pit a first officer against his captain, the result was a battle of brawn. This was the DNA of The Original Series.  In 1989, when a first officer was forced to face off against his captain, it would be in a court of law. A battle of words and ideas. This was the DNA of The Next Generation. This was how far we had come.

So how far have we come in 2013? How far can we yet go? And in spite of our vast advances in digital imaging technology and storytelling, what part of ourselves remains thoroughly unevolved?

Maybe to answer that question, we need to ask another…

What part of our brain does today’s Star Trek appeal to? And what, if anything, does that say about today’s sensibilities? Is THAT something we can even answer?

Or is that mission best left to the next generation?

Too subtle?

Apr
07
Jane Levy preparing for a take on the hood of "The Classic"

Jane Levy preparing for a take on the hood of “The Classic”

Let me start this review by letting you know that I don’t get out to the movie theater as often as I’d like, but for me, EVIL DEAD was a given.  I was going to see this movie.  In fact, the worn out VHS of the original THE EVIL DEAD is partly responsible for my chosen field in the film industry.  So whether or not Sam Raimi is directing or Bruce Campbell is starring, I’ve invested a lot of time into the franchise and into being a fan of the filmmakers.

 

I’ve invested money as well: on movie tickets for “Army of Darkness” (the first installment I was old enough to see in the theater), updating formats from VHS to DVD, DVD to HD-DVD (don’t get me started), HD-DVD to BLU-RAY, and eventually Blu-RAY to Smellivision.  And I even took a trip to New York City (before it was taken over by homeless-looking rich kids) to see a stage adaptation, which was delightful by the way.

 

So for me, this remake is part of the THE EVIL DEAD phenomena, and for that reason it’s a must-see.  For that same reason, it’s a tall order for a director whose name is not Sam Raimi to take on a remake of this long-treasured horror masterpiece.  Just look at the other remakes of late, like Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN.  On second thought, don’t . You’ll hate it.

 

This time, the film’s director Fede Alvarez was successful because he made some good decisions.  The most important decision was to make a solid horror film that simultaneously pays respect, homage, and tribute to one of the most beloved horror films of all time, reminiscent of the way JJ Abrams approached Star Trek, an even more iconic series.  Evil Dead works on its own as a taught and thrilling horror film with plenty of scares and memorable gory moments splattered throughout.  If someone sees this film having never seen its 1981 counterpart, there’s a good chance they would appreciate it as one of the best straight up horror flicks in the last 10 years.  Or, they may describe it as a creepier rip-off of CABIN IN THE WOODS without all that weird holodeck stuff.

 

But if you are a fan of the original series, you won’t be disappointed because of another good decision the director made, which was to pepper the film with inside jokes and tips of the hat to the original film without slowing down the pace or getting in the way of the plot.   In fact, if you go into the film with a checklist of what they’d better do, you will probably have it all marked off by the end of the film.

 

And what I’m most impressed by this film, is the way that each element from the original film (including the car nicknamed “The Classic”) is addressed in a fresh and fun way that is always unpredictable.  This kept the story fresh and exciting and not just an updated version with better haircuts and slicker lighting, (which this movie has too).

 

Not only as a remake, but as a movie, Evil Dead is full of surprises.  Just when you think you might have figured out the way a set piece is going to play out based on your knowledge of the genre, Alvarez turns it on its ear which makes the suspense very effective.

 

And as far as trying to please all the devoted Deadites out there, instead of trying to find an actor to fill the size bizillion shoes of Bruce Campbell, Alvarez Kobi Oshi Maru’s it by leaving the character of Ash out altogether and spreading the memorable “Ash” moments out to all the other characters.  This proves to be a good way of avoiding a comparison that would inevitably end up being worse than the original.

 

It’s the only way to approach such sacred geek territory.  Yet another good decision on the producer’s part is to look at the original and pinpoint what was missing.  In this case they decided to delve a little deeper into the origin of the evil at the cabin.  They did so by opening with a clever, to the point scene which gives a glimpse into the nature of the evil spirit at the heart of the story.

 

The film’s suspense and gore are masterfully done and will keep you literally wincing for 90 minutes…well 60 minutes, (it does take a few minutes to get all the pertinent character stuff out of the way.)

 

I look forward to more from Alvarez as it’s clear his devotion is to storytelling and not servicing a fan base looking for nothing less than a shot-for-shot re-filming.

 

In short, I’ll describe this film using an immortal catchphrase from Bruce Campbell in the original: Evil Dead is…“Far-out”

 

Mar
06

realworldmetro

Okay, let’s talk about this.

In case you haven’t heard, DC’s so pleased with the Dark Knight trilogy and the upcoming Man of Steel, that they’ve scrapped their Justice League movie plans (again), and decided to hand the whole universe over to Christopher Nolan (Insomnia), Zack Snyder (Suckerpunch) and David Goyer (The Crow 2: City of Angels, Kickboxer 2).

Talk about the keys to the Bat Cave…!

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So everyone loves Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy, and why wouldn’t we? It’s a (mostly) down-to-earth take on the Batman legend – something that lends a sense of legitimacy and possibility to the cape and cowl.

But does that real-world take on the super hero genre have universal appeal? Or is it specific to Batman? Batman works because he’s just a guy. He’s got infinite resources but no powers. That kind of thing lends itself perfectly to the Nolan brand of storytelling. It’s a solid universe with solid rules that we all accept and understand. Why?

Because it’s OUR world.

For all intents and purposes, the Dark Knight trilogy takes place in our world at the present time.  Ergo, explanations not necessary.

worst-batman-costume-skate

Well…maybe some.

But overall, there are no lengthy conversations that need to explain the existence of Amazons, space police or Martians. There are no underwater men, no magicians, no bird people.

There was a cat woman, but she was never referred to as such and her resemblance to her feline namesake was only subliminal at best…and even THAT was slightly ridiculous. Yes, as realistic as Catwoman was portrayed,  even HER presence was a little outlandish and out of place.

So what’s gonna happen when THIS GUY shows up???

Plastic-Man

Well, as we see it, it all rides on Man of Steel. Here’s a story about an alien from another planet for Pete’s sake.  It doesn’t get less plausible than that. This is the new DC film universe’s take on Superman. If this Superman works in a real word setting, maybe…just maybe…it can exist in the same universe as Bale’s Batman.

christopher-nolan-compares-man-of-steel-to-his-batman-trilogy

And if THAT’s the case, well…hold on to your butts, cuz the real world’s about to get a WHOLE LOT FREAKIER.

Dcu

Dec
31

2012-chairys1

Yup! It’s time for the FOURTH annual Chairy Awards!! It’s time for us to look back at all the things we decided to spend our hard-earned money on and put off re-thinking our financial priorities for just a few minutes more.

And since he’s not mentioned in our awards, we’ll go ahead and make Psy our official mascot, mere hours before his supposed “final” performance of “Gangnam Style” on new Years Rockin’ Eve. Here’s his beautiful mug:

psy

See? Who says we hate everything? And now let’s hand out some awards….!


MARKETING

 

Most Effective Accidental Ad Campaign:  Oh My Damn
This guy just runs around doing what he loves – and we love him for it…!  5 Guys Burgers & Fries WISHES they came up with this!

Worst Network Campaign:  NBC – Thank Grimm it’s Friday
A whole lotta salary went into this. We’d love to see the list of slogans they rejected…!

grimm

No, THIS Is the Worst Network Campaign:  Fox – Laugh your Fox Off
Presumably from the creators of “It’s da Boom” – remember that gem?

You’re Both Wrong, THIS Is the Worst Network Campaign:  NBC – We Peacock (huh?) Comedy

NBC

Worst Title Change:  Disney – John Carter.
Apparently John Carter of Mars was deemed too informative.

Worst Attempt At Creating A Buzzword:  Brighthouse with “Moredinary”.
Dear Brighthouse, we get that you’re trying to say that your service is even better than ordinary. But not only does the “moredinary” effect backfire in that it evokes the phrase “more ordinary” in the reader’s mind, it completely disregards the fact that there’s already a perfectly viable word for sentiment. Therefore, we find your buzzword extraordinarily annoying.

Biggest Buzzword Stretch:  Fox with “Adorkable”.
Rolls off the tongue. Like saliva.

Most Clichés In a Trailer:  Lockout.
Let’s check ‘em off: “world’s most secure prison”, “planet’s deadliest criminals”, “President’s daughter is endangered”, “there’s only one man who can get her out”, “he’s the best there is”, “he’s a loose cannon”, “I hate heights”, “trust me on this” – see if you can spot the rest!

Not Sure If Serious:  Chanel’s Brad Pitt spot
This has GOT to be parody…right???

Most Heart-String Tuggin’:  Google Chrome.
Why does the room always get so blurry when we watch these ads?

Johnny-come-lately:  iPhone 5
Most of iPhone 5’s new features (panoramic shots, surfing the Web while talking, larger screens) have been available on Android for the last two years.

Best Comeback Ad: Samsung Galaxy S3
This spin job on Apple’s successful patent lawsuit is genius in its purest form.

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Worst Tagline:  LOL – You can change your status, but not your heart.
So bad, it was actually hilarious. So hilarious, it was kinda good. So good, it should probably be awarded with, aw hell, You know what…

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Best Tagline:  LOL – You can change your status, but not your heart.
Amazing.


TV

 

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP:  The Office.
You know those zombie movies where your friend was bitten and is slowly and painfully changing into something so horrific that he’s virtually unrecognizable from the person he once was and you know putting a bullet in their head is the only merciful thing to do. It’s like that.

The Office

Dirtiest Thing On Network TV:  The Good Wife – ice cream cone scene.
Now that’s what we call a sticky situation.

GoodWifeFingers

Icing On The Cake:  Jersey Shore’s series finale. In this episode “the Situation” eats a cake baked for him by a vengeful ex, only to discover later that the cake previously served as someone’s testicle sofa. If that tea-bagging isn’t a metaphor for the effect this show’s had on society, we don’t know what is. Crap. Shoulda saved that sticky “Situation” bit, this one was better.

Every New Episode Is Better Than the Previous Two Seasons Combined:  Season 3 of The Walking Dead

Funnier Than You Think:  Bob’s Burgers

Not As Funny As You Think:  Two Broke Girls

Most Tears Shed Per Capita:  Parenthood

Tiniest Plot Twist:  Gossip Girl was Dan.
Oh. Em. Gee.

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MOVIES


MVP:
 Joss Whedon
What can we say? Dude stuck the landing. Nuff said.

joss-whedon-scary-smash

Easiest Subject Matter with Worst Execution:  The Watch
How do you mess up the premise of four comedians in a neighborhood watch during an alien invasion? We have the answer but it’s 102 minutes long.

Toughest Subject Matter with Best Execution:  Cloud Atlas
Can’t summarize it, but we liked it.

Sore Thumb Award:  Russell Crowe – Les Miserables
There, out in the darkness…a fugitive running. Fallen from God. Fallen from grace.

javert

Jude Law Award:  Tie – Tyler Perry and Joseph Gordon-Levitt
This award is given to someone who somehow managed to star in every movie at the same time. Perry managed to STAR in Good Deeds, Alex Cross and Madea’s Witness Protection, while Gordon-Levitt gave us Looper, Premium Rush, The Dark Knight Rises AND Lincoln! Meanwhile, we posted, like, four times this year.

Best Bad Guy: Mama (Dredd 3D)
Seriously, she is SOOO scary…! Did you HEAR how she got to be head of her cartel?!?! YIKES!!

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Worst Bad Guy:  The Lizard (The Amazing Spider-Man)
What’s your plan? Turn everyone into lizards? Why again?

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The FayanubitYayonDeTeepundo Award:  Dark Knight Rises
Between Bane, Batman, a hospitalized Jim Gordon and that guy in Bruce Wayne’s prison, we couldn’t understand ANYTHING THAT WAS SAID IN THIS FILM.

Bane

Bad Moon Rising:  Brave
Pixar won a Combo Breaker Award last year for breaking a winning streak with the uninspired Cars 2. This year’s offering, Brave, was no great shakes either. We hope this trend stops soon…!

That. Just. Happened.:  Oogieloves
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?

Best Time At The Movies:  Wreck-It Ralph
Are you sure this film and Brave weren’t switched at birth?

Comeback Kid:  Bond-Jmes-Bond in Skyfall
Now THAT’S to bounce back from a bad flick! Please, everyone help yourselves to some solace. In whatever quantum you prefer.

Most Unintentionally Porny name:  Jack Reacher
Honorable mentions: The Hole, Frankenweenie, Here Comes the Boom, Hitchcock

Censoreds

Abort! Abort!:  GI..Joe: Retaliation
Sometimes it’s better to just get something over with. Putting it off only raises the stakes…!

Combo Breaker:  Piranha 3DD
What a disappointment. Instead of a fun horror movie, we got a horrible comedy.

Piranha DD 4

Army Recruitment Effort Disguised As a Movie:  Act of Valor

Best Remake:  21 Jump Street

Worst Remake:  Three Stooges

Best Use Of 3D:  Dredd 3D
Druggies in this film use something called slo-mo, which makes time appear to move at a fraction of its normal speed – and the effect was mesmerizing – especially during the action scenes!

dredd3d-redband-clip

Most Meta:  Cabin in the Woods

Most satisfying Fight:  Hulk vs. Loki

Least Satisfying Fight:  Debbie vs. Pete
The constant bickering in This is 40 never felt very genuine or amounted to anything. Puny marriage.

10 Foot Pole:  Magic Mike
As in, guys wouldn’t touch this movie with one, the actors in this movie dance on one, and probably a couple of other jokes that shouldn’t be made in mixed company as well.

WHO IS WATCHING THESE??:  Resident Evil: Retribution
They’re wise to refrain from numbering these. No one wants to know how many Oreos they actually ate.

resident-evil-retribution-1280c

TRENDS

Most Overused Weapon:   Archery
Katniss (Hunger Games,) Hawkeye (Avengers,) Merida (Brave,) Green Arrow (CW’s Arrow,) Charlie Matheson (NBC’s REVOLUTION)

Archery

Most Overused Joke:  Princess Leia as a Disney princess

Most Overused Arena:  A locked building filled with criminals – The Raid, Dredd 3D, Lockdown

Most Overused Genre:  Fairy Tales – Mirror, Mirror, Snow White and the Huntsman, Once Upon a Time, Grimm

Acceptable Mom Porn:  50 Shades of Grey, Magic Mike

2012Moms

Most Overused Title Theme:  Gone, Stolen, Taken 2.
We’re looking forward to 2013’s releases of Misplaced, Astray, No-Show and Gonsies.

Most Desperate Move:  The re-release of once-popular films
Beauty and the Beast, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Titanic, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Finding Nemo, E.T., Halloween, Monsters Inc.

That’s it Moguls! And thanks for sitting through our extended hiatus.

Our prediction for next year, get ready for a LOT of talk about “Luck” in 2013.

Until then, sit back, relax and call the shots!

–AM

Dec
30

NewArmchairMogulTitle

Looks like you reached our old site! Click here to read this very article on our new and improved site, featuring up to date articles and our new ArmchairMogul Podcast!

2012hotties

As we say goodbye to 2012, we must reflect and pay homage to the players in the entertainment industry that made our hearts go aflutter.

Of COURSE they are talented, of COURSE they are smart …and stuff… but they are definitely not hard on the eyes either.

The fine folks here at Armchair Mogul (and friends) took a vote, and we picked the ten celebs that made us watch just a little bit longer this year!

So sit back and feast your eyes on OUR picks, in our Third Annual Armchair Hottie Awards: Top Ten of 2012! GET IT ON!

Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games, Silver Linings Playbook)

JenniferLawrence_Sexy
2012 was a great year for Jennifer Lawrence, with the huge success of the Hunger Games and the critical acclaim of Silver Linings Playbook.

JenniferLawrence Hot

One of her greatest assets is her down to earth nature, and her inability to control her expressions. She feels like “one of us” somehow got famous, and she’s funny about it!

Skip in to about 4:30 in this video to hear her talk about red carpet premieres.

JenniferLawrence_Beautiful

Fun Fact: Jennifer confessed on the ‘Tonight Show’ that she recently rear-ended a family in Georgia because she thought she spotted child star Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson in a  parade.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (The Dark Knight Rises, Looper)

Joseph_Gordon_Levitt_Hot

Sometimes it takes a while to appreciate the solid acting chops of someone that you have seen grow up from a “child actor,” but JGL is one of the best actors out there today. The last few years he has been in such solid flicks as Lincoln, Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, and Looper. His humble and down to earth nature off screen makes him that much more attractive.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Sexy

In case you had any question about how much of a class act this guy is, check out his interview with The Nerdist Podcast. The dude is a total sweetheart.
http://www.nerdist.com/2012/10/nerdist-podcast-joseph-gordon-levitt/

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Artsy

Fun Fact: Joseph’s older brother Daniel looks EXACTLY like him. Check this out. http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/09b9d29ebf.jpg

Karen Gillan (Dr. Who)

KarenGillan_DrWho

We here at Armchair are quite smitten by the new Dr. Who …and while the jury is still a little mixed about how much we love Matt Smith as the 11th Doctor, there isn’t much denying the hotness of his spazzy red-headed companion Amy Pond.

karen gillan Sexy Sexy

Unfortunately. Ms. Gillan filmed her last show with the Doctor this season (which was an amazing episode BTW) and her cute little ‘Scottish brogue’ will be missed!

 KarenGillan is Sexy

Fun Fact: At two and a half seasons, Karen had the longest run of any companion on the Doctor Who revival series.

Paul Rudd (This is 40, Wanderlust)

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Paul Rudd has got the one-two punch of ‘good looks’ and ‘fantastic sense of humor.’ He first came into pop-culture’s collective conscience back in 1995’s Clueless (yes, that was him) and has since starred in many comic staples like Friends, I Love You Man, Anchorman, Parks and Recreation, and The 40 Year Old Virgin.

PaulRudd_Hot

The man is ridiculously prolific too, having parts in 13 movies and 5 TV series in the last 4 years alone!

PaulRudd_Sexy

Fun Fact: As part of a running gag during his appearances on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien”, Rudd often brought a clip from the film “Mac and Me” where the wheelchair-bound Eric flies off a cliff while Mac watches on, instead of showing clips from the actual movie he is there to promote. The only exception was when he came to promote “Knocked Up.” Judd Apatow showed up specifically to make sure Rudd wouldn’t do it.

Anne Hathaway (The Dark Knight Rises, Les Misérables)

AnneHathaway_Hot

Anne Hathaway has got “Classic Hollywood” good looks.
We have watched her grow from fairly silly roles like The Princess Diaries to her stunning role as Fantine in Les Misérables (which is garnering early Oscar buzz.)

Dark Knight Rises

Although we kind of felt The Dark Knight Rises was a little bit of a mess, she filled the role (and costume) of Catwoman perfectly.

Anne-Hathaway-Beautiful

Fun Fact: Hathaway accidentally fell off of her chair during her audition for the role of the klutzy princess in “The Princess Diaries.” She was hired on the spot.

Matthew McConaughey (Magic Mike)

Matthew-Mcconaughey-Smile

Come on, this isn’t even fair.
“Magic Mike’s” milkshake brought ALL the housewives to the yard this year. And Matthew was a ‘ladies favorite.’

Matthew-Mcconaughey-Handsome

McConaughey’s laid back nature and sexy looks have always made the ladies swoon but this year you have to give the guy some credit for the cojones it took to play a 43 year old male stripper in “Magic Mike.”
He was recently quoted “Everybody was pretty damn ripped already, but boy, if you really want to get men in great shape, just tell them they’re going to play male strippers in a movie and have their sh*t onscreen for the rest of time”

Matthew-Mcconaughey-Sexy-Magic-Mike

Fun Fact: Matthew was strongly considered for some time to play ‘Jack Dawson’ in “Titanic,” until Leonardo DiCaprio decided to accept the part.

Olivia Thirlby (Dredd 3D)

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We LOVED Dredd 3D. It was a tragically underrated movie and Olivia Thirlby was fantastic as the psychic rookie Judge Anderson.

Olivia_Thirlby_Hot_Dredd

She is known to most for the movie Juno, but we were introduced to her in the DREDD role. To see what she looks like in other roles was quite a pleasant surprise. She looks different in every movie, and but beautiful in all.

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Fun Fact: Olivia was the runner up to replace Amanda Seyfried in Sucker Punch, but lost out to Emily Browning.

Daniel Craig (Skyfall)

Daniel Craig Handsome

Daniel Craig made us fall in love James Bond again. At first glance, he wouldn’t be what many would consider “classically handsome” but the man has got the swagger, the style and the ‘gravitas’ that makes him dead sexy.

Daniel Craig's Body

Having a beach body that looks like this at age 44 certainly doesn’t hurt matters at all.

Daniel Craig's Crotch

I think he might be trying to tell the paparazzi something.

Fun Fact: Daniel Craig is the first Bond actor to have been born after the Bond series began.

Now you have to see how far you have to scroll down to see Scarlett …before you stop seeing Daniel Craig’s buldge grab

Scarlett Johansson (The Avengers, Hitchcock)

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If it were up to us, Scarjo would be on here every year, but one of our few rules for the Armchair Hotties is that the hotties can’t be on the list two years in a row.

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Ms. Johansson showed some range this year by scissor kicking us in the heart in “The Avengers” (one of our favorites of the year,) and  played actress Janet Leigh in the Hitchcock biopic “Hitchcock.”

Scarlett_Johansson_hot

And um…yeah.

Fun Fact: Scarlett auditioned for the role of “Lisbeth Salander” in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, however, she didn’t get the role because she was considered too attractive for it. We agree.

Bruce Willis (Looper, Expendables 2)

Bruce Wills Sexy

What? A hottie list that isn’t all twenty-somethings?  For God’s sake, look at this man…

Bruce Wills Handsome

Bruce Willis is just under 60 years old and we can only DREAM of looking this good …at any age! He has entertained us ever since he ‘Moonlighted’ his way into our lives in the 80’s and with two big hits this year (Looper and Expendables 2), he shows no signs of slowing down.

Bruce Wills Expendables

Mr. Willis also practices proper trigger discipline whilst posing in falling lava.


On February 14, 2013 (Valentine’s Day) release, Willis will reprise his most famous role of John McClane for a fifth time in A Good Day to Die Hard! We can’t wait!
Fun Fact: Has regularly been named on “Best Celebrity Tippers” lists over the years. This is largely due to his early “struggling” waiter/bartender days.

What do you think Moguls? Are we crazy? Are we right? Who did we miss from YOUR list this year? Sound off!

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